The Big 3-0!

Last week (Thanksgiving Day to be exact) I turned 30. Now I'm not one of those people that constantly dreaded turning 30. As a matter of fact, although I don't look forward to growing older, the thought of turning 30 never really bothered me - that is, until the big day hit. I didn't feel any different or look any different. So what was different? I had the sudden realization that where I saw myself at 30 isn't anywhere near where I actually am!

Granted, when I was a kid I thought I would either be the starting third baseman for the Reds or a doctor or even a doctor that was the starting third baseman for the Reds. Perhaps my perception of the future was a little skewed as a child, I'll concede that much. But the truth of the matter is even as I got a little older and my goals became a little (or a lot) more realistic, they are still vastly different than the current state of things.

For example, when I started college I was a pre-med major. It was my goal to be a doctor. By that time I had given up the dream of playing for the Reds. So, naturally, I thought that by my thirtieth birthday I'd either be a full-fledged doctor or at least a resident. The thought never occurred to me that Freshman chemistry was going to lower both my career goals and my GPA. As a result, I ended up changing my major and disappearing into the void of a liberal arts education. Needless to say, I'm not presently a doctor or a resident or even a liberal artist (although I'm not sure what exactly that would be!)

Apart from my career aspirations, I was convinced that by the time I hit 30 I would be married and most likely a father too. Let's face it, I come from a white-bread, "Leave it to Beaver Family", so this was a logical expectation. At least I thought it was. Now, at 30 I've accomplished neither of those. As a matter of fact, I was recently dealt quite a crushing blow in this area and now feel like I'm farther away than ever.

So what was the point of all of this? To be honest with you I'm not quite sure. I rather expected myself to come up with some deep profound meditation on turning 30. I thought for sure I'd be able to sum up the experience in some witty fashion. Perhaps, I might even be able to dazzle the reading audience with some humorous story. Unfortunately I'm unable to do any of those things. I guess it's just another example of me failing to live up to my own expectations.

I realize that this post sounds rather gloomy and cynical. That wasn't my intent. More than anything else, I just wanted to expunge some of the thoughts that have been floating around in my head for the last couple of weeks. I hope it proves to be a cathartic experience. Sometimes you just need to get rid of the bad stuff in order to move forward to better stuff. After all, 30 is just a number and you're only as old as you feel. Anyone who knows me will tell you that there are some days when I feel 15 (or at least ACT like I'm 15!). So I figure I have nothing to worry about. I guess we'll just have to see. If nothing else, I hope to at least have some good stories to tell.